people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
