I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
