If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
