he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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