wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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