Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
