i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
