Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Less talking, more tequila
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
