I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
