I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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