I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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