Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
