so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize