i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize