Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize