Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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