Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize