I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize