My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
