Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
