Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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