i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
