All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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