she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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