bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wish there were birth control emojis
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
