just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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