dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
