was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
