my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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