Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
