how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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