**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
