hotel room ftw
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Terrible idea I love it
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
