If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
