yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
