i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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