i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
