What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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