Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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