is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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