i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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