I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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