are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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