i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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