Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
