In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
