...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
