Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
