you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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