I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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