We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
