It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She told me I should be a condom model.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
