i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
