turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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