it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
