Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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