Christians are straight up FREAKS
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
