We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
