Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
