Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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