i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
