I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
