I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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