I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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