Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She said her name was "party"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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