he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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