Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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